Happy first official Father's Day! I have so enjoyed watching you come into your own as a father. This transition has definitely been one of the most challenging in our relationship but just like always we are growing, changing and adapting to our new situation.
You have to have the hardest job in the world because it requires you to be away from our little man three to four days a week. After my one night in Austin, I realized that you definitely have the short end of the stick on that one because being away from him absolutely makes your heart ache.
Hunter has seemed to figure out that Daddy being gone is a part of life because about the third day he starts asking for you. One of my favorite times is the first morning you are home because he gets so excited when he reaches across the bed and feels you laying there next to him.
The way you can make him laugh a full body of giggles absolutely melts my heart. Hunter is so much like you in so many ways: endless energy, determined, stubborn, happy, and an absolute flirt!
These past fifteen years together you have grown into an amazing man but these last nine months you have amazed me as you have figured out your role as father. Hunter is a lucky little man!
We are all packed up and ready to go on our first family trip tomorrow morning to Yellowstone! We will be flying into Jackson, Wyoming and staying the night at a lodge about 45 minutes outside of town before heading up to Big Sky, Montana for the week on Sunday. My father has rented a house for the entire family and we plan on doing lots of hiking, fly fishing, horse back riding and even a zipline tour.
I am a little nervous about our first plane ride with Hunter but just like everything else I know people do these sorts of things all the time and survive, and we will too!
If you had told me 18 months ago that I was going to love someone more than I ever knew possible, I would not have believed you. Sure, we have all heard that when you have a child you will experience love like you never have before but until you experience it for yourself you just don't really grasp what people are saying.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't look at Hunter numerous times in absolute amazement. I might have thought for many years that we would never have children but I always wondered in the back of my mind what a child of ours would look like, be like and act like.....well now I know!
He is just plain precious!
He is a ball of energy and has endless curiosity. He gives the best cuddles and the sweetest 'sugars' in town. He says 'Mama' and 'Dada' and is working on 'bah-bah'. There is no doubt that he has mastered crawling and if you aren't watching he is in another room before you know it. He pulls himself up on absolutely everything and walks along the tables and chairs while holding on. He finds a new noise everyday and 'talks' to us from the moment he wakes in the morning until the time he goes down at night. He loves all of his pets and gets especially excited when our outdoor cat comes in and brushes up against him for some loving. In the past week, he has decided that traditional baby food just isn't his 'cup of tea' so we have moved quickly into finger foods such as apples, carrots, grapes, mandarin oranges, chicken and even some french fries and a few bites of hamburger from Nana today! (6/9/2011)
The past nine months have absolutely been the most challenging while also being the most rewarding of any in my life! I am soaking up as much as possible and loving Hunter as deeply as I can because I know before I know it the title of my blog will read....18 years ago!!
I am not sure if it is the passing of my first official Mother's Day or the fact that summer is fast approaching and that has always been a time of reflection for me or the fact that I finally spent my first night away from Hunter, but a few things have been on my mind lately.
First, I have been struggling to try and find balance within myself in this new role as mother. Like most things in my life I have a profound need to be the absolute BEST no matter what! Well, I have found out as a mother you can do the best for your child but to expect to be the best is a totally different beast and it can quickly turn you into another word that begins with a 'B'. I have also found that being a working mother with a husband who travels 75% or more of the time is a whole other ball game. After a night away from Hunter, I do realize I have the better end of the deal but trying to balance time with Hunter, keeping up with the laundry and general house keeping tasks, and still putting in my best effort at work is not always easy.....and that's not even putting in time for exercise, a social life, and my marriage!
I know that it will ultimately just take time to get things figured out and that my old center gravity has now been moved and I need to find a new way to balance.